Inside-Out Hospitality

A Hospitable Church Starts With You

What if someone you invited to church decided not to come back—and when you gently asked why, they said, “I didn’t feel welcomed”?

That response can feel surprising, even uncomfortable—especially if you grew up in church. You may immediately start defending your church in your head:

“But we have smiling ushers!”
“There was a welcome for first-time guests!”
“We even had good coffee and snacks after service!”

Who is usually blamed when hospitality fails?
The ushers, welcome team, church greeters, protocol, or however it is called in your church.
The pastor (and most often the pastor’s spouse) is often unjustly expected to know everyone!

While these are essential figureheads for hospitality, there’s another group we don’t talk about enough—the main ones, actually.

The church members.

Yes… Most likely, you and me.

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Hospitality Is Not a Name Tag—It’s a Culture

Church hospitality must go beyond roles, name tags, and assigned teams. For it to be truly effective, hospitality has to become a shared culture, embraced by everyone—including you and me.

Biblical hospitality goes beyond friendliness—it is the intentional choice to open our community to those who have no reason to expect a place in it, particularly strangers and the vulnerable. This mirrors God’s heart toward us. We were outsiders, yet He welcomed us fully into His family.

One would think this kind of hospitality should come naturally in church. Yet because it remains a common struggle, it’s worth discussing honestly.

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Why Is Hospitality in Church So Important?

1. God expects it

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so some have entertained angels unawares.” — Hebrews 13:2

And honestly, who better than angels than human beings created in the very image of God (Genesis 1:26–27)?

2. Guests expect it
Even the quiet, shy, and introverted ones. They may not say it aloud, but they hope to feel noticed, safe, and welcome.

3. Hospitality builds relationships
And relationships are often the reason people return (or keep staying)—not just sermons, music, or programs.

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Common Barriers We Don’t Like to Admit

Hospitality challenges rarely come from bad intentions. Often, they come from real struggles:

• Feeling inadequate or unsure of what to say
• Fear of embarrassment or self-consciousness
• Assuming guests want to be left alone
• Volunteer burnout, family demands, multiple services
• Tight-knit cliques that form over time (you guys can meet over the week, just mingle!) Matt 5:47 says: “And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?“
• Cultural or social differences (some people only ‘network’ with people they think they can gain something from…a job opportunity, for example)

Jesus dismantles these excuses in the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). The Samaritan did not allow ethnic tension, religious division, or social expectations to dictate his response. He saw a wounded man, and compassion overruled comfort, reputation, and convenience. Genuine hospitality does not ask, “Is this person like me?” but rather, “How can I love them as my neighbour?”

That reminds me, we should invite The Good Samaritan to our Hospitality Heroes’ Spotlight Show!!

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What Church Hospitality Is Not

Hospitality is not phoney behaviour.

It’s not ignoring the person sitting next to you, then suddenly becoming overly friendly when the moderator says, “Turn to your neighbour and greet them.”

It’s not hugging a guest publicly and then avoiding them completely after service.

And it’s certainly not something we wear like a coat inside church and remove once we step outside (the person you ignored on the street might just walk into your church someday).

Inside-out hospitality is consistent, sincere, and rooted in love.

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How Hospitable Is Your Church, Really?

A simple way to evaluate is to ask:

• What feedback do guests give?
• Do visitors return?
• Do people feel connected—or anonymous?

A church can have excellent systems and still lack warmth.

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How Can We Become More Hospitable?

Cultivating church hospitality requires intentionality and practice.

As Individuals, We Can:

• Pray for awareness and courage
• Challenge ourselves to approach at least one newcomer every Sunday
• Stop scrolling. Stop rushing. Look up.

I learned this personally. I often rush after church—grabbing my kids, catching a bus, and surviving serving in multiple services. Even as an usher, I realised I knew people but didn’t really know them. One Sunday, I chose not to rush. I stayed, connected, and listened, really listened. It was surprisingly refreshing—and now I’m more intentional about slowing down.

• Be attentive to needs.
• Learn simple conversation starters and embrace the initial awkwardness (have you ever had to introduce yourself to someone you had already introduced yourself to?)
• Connect people to others (same school, profession, country, language… connecting them to someone else they share something in common with is a big plus).
• Prioritise newcomers on Sundays (connect with your regular church members during the week)

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What Churches Can Do Collectively

• Regularly remind members to look out for visitors
• Train and support the church, welcome and follow-up teams
• Evaluate hospitality practices and adjust where needed
• Organise bonding activities like game nights and outreaches
• Encourage newcomers into smaller communities—home cells, groups, or service teams

Engage All Five Senses

(Just a few examples from our senses series)

• Sight: Proper signage, e.g. toilets are clearly labelled, directions, building tours
• Sound: Translation available for different languages
• Taste: Serve food and drinks—don’t be overly concerned about budgets or try to overspiritualize this (We offer food to guests in our homes—God’s house should be no different)
• Touch: Appropriate gestures of welcome (e.g. handshake, holy kiss)
• Smell: Clean, well-maintained spaces (especially toilets)

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A Personal Thought

I’m still unsettled about asking guests to stand or introduce themselves publicly. For some communities, it works. For others, it can feel exposing—especially if you’re the only one standing. Each church should prayerfully discern what best serves its people.

Hospitality should comfort, not intimidate.

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Inside-Out Hospitality Takeaway

Hospitality plays a vital role in the spiritual health, unity, and growth of a local church. It is not a responsibility reserved solely for pastors or welcome teams.

If I desire to see a more welcoming church fellowship, the change must begin with my own willingness to welcome others well.

Whenever hospitality is treated as the responsibility of a select team rather than a shared posture, visitors quickly sense what’s missing.

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Inside-Out Hospitality Question

If everyone in your church practised hospitality the way you do, would newcomers feel like visitors—or like family?

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Here’s to hosting from the Inside-Out!