Inside-Out Hospitality

Introduction: Hospitality Needs Boundaries Too

Hospitality and boundaries may sound like opposites, but biblical hospitality requires wisdom and discernment. Boundaries are set for our protection. Imagine the roads had no boundaries—where pedestrians could walk anywhere, and cars could ride freely. It would be total chaos. Even our bodies set limits for us: work all you want, and at some point, your body will force you to rest. That’s because there are limits to everything—except the love of God.

Hospitality is no exception. While we may be all gingered up about having open hearts and open homes, the Bible clearly cautions us to use wisdom.

“Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd (wise) as snakes and harmless as doves.”
Matthew 10:16, NLT (emphasis and brackets mine)

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When Hospitality Meets Discernment (Story Time)

One evening, my husband and I were heading home from fellowship. While waiting for a ride, I noticed a strange-looking guy walk past us, then turn around and stare very intently. I mentioned it to my husband, and not long after, the guy came over and introduced himself. Apparently, he was an old schoolmate of my husband.

They spoke for a while, but honestly, something felt off. I couldn’t explain it, but I was uncomfortable.

Afterwards, my husband—already in full ministry mode—started sharing the guy’s story: scams, police cell, broken life, and how he clearly needed the gospel and help. I remember saying, “Please, before your ministry mind wants to invite him over, something is unsettling about this guy. Please don’t invite him to our house. At least not yet. Meet him elsewhere and share the gospel—but not our home.”

He laughed, but he agreed.

The man was invited to our fellowship one day and attended. The very next day, I was told he was at our neighbour’s house waiting for us—and no, my husband DID NOT invite him over. Apparently, he had followed people he noticed were our neighbours at the fellowship. Super creepy!!!

From then on, he kept showing up at odd hours, often smelling of alcohol and cigarettes. I was deeply uncomfortable. Each time, I asked my husband to receive him outside. I would bring refreshments, but only outside.

One night, we returned very late from a wedding and found him sleeping at our door. That was it! I was truly vexed. Our home was a house of girls and kids, and I didn’t feel safe. He wanted to sleep over. Instead, we gave him money to find somewhere else to sleep, especially since he was drunk.

Even after warnings, he returned the next day.

At that point, it became a David vs. Goliath situation. I looked him straight in the eye (well…more like an upward stare, because you know—I am a concentrated beauty 😄) and told him to:

• Never to come without calling,
• Not to show up late,
• and definitely not to come when my husband wasn’t around.

The way his bloodshot red eyes stared angrily at me… whew. I was firm on the outside but shaking inside (what if he bundled me and beat me? 😅). But I stood my ground.

David won. He never showed up again.

Peace was restored in our home. My husband continued helping him from afar, and he eventually got a job.

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Biblical Wisdom on Hospitality and Safety

Sometimes, when I reflect on that experience, I wonder if fear drove my actions or if I could have been more hospitable. I felt I was even in a good position to help him with his addictions. But even as a professional, boundaries matter.

In first aid, you’re taught to protect yourself before trying to save others—otherwise, who saves who?

The Bible brought me peace:

“A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.
The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.”
Proverbs 22:3

Biblical hospitality is not reckless. It is wise, prayerful, and discerning.

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Practical Tips to Safeguard Your Home (9 Boundaries That Matter)

While there are many boundaries in hospitality, here are nine practical, safety-focused tips to help protect your home:

1. Commit Your Home to God

“Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.” (Psalm 127:1)

2. Grow in Wisdom and Discernment

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God…” (James 1:5)

3. Listen to the Holy Spirit

“A voice will say, ‘This is the way you should go.’” (Isaiah 30:21)
Peace—or lack of it—often tells you a lot.

4. Set Clear Home Rules

Communicate visiting hours, accessible areas, acceptable behaviour, and language—especially when children are present. Teach children never to open doors to strangers, and avoid leaving them unsupervised with guests.

5. Use Alternative Settings

Hospitality doesn’t always mean your living room. Try a restaurant, a park, a walk, or a café.

6. Ask Around and Seek Counsel

Knowing more about someone before inviting them into your home can make all the difference.

7. Learn to Say No Gracefully

“Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’” (Matthew 5:37)

8. Evaluate and Learn

Reflect after each visit. What worked? What didn’t? Adjust moving forward.

9. Don’t Hesitate if Things Turn Sour

Cut visits short if needed. Ask someone to leave. In extreme cases, take legal action. Above all, run to God:

“He is my refuge and fortress.” (Psalm 91)

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Inside-Out Hospitality Takeaway

Hospitality and boundaries are not enemies. Wisdom is the bridge between love and safety. The goal is not to become overly protective or overly permissive—but to find the God-honoring balance between the two.

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Inside-Out Question

Have you ever experienced a moment where hospitality and boundaries collided—perhaps when a guest overstepped? What did you learn from it? Let me know in the comments section.

If this blessed you, please like, share and comment.

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Here’s to hosting from the inside out—wisely and safely.